Pocket-Sized

"Women's Work" is any work that women do. »

spoopycreppydove:

oneshortdamnfuse:

princess-siddnttety:

hazeldash:

birdhead:

pyrositshere:

internetgoose:

I’m gonna depress the hell out of all of you. ready? ok go

so, that “stop devaluing feminized work post”

nice idea and all

but the thing is, as…

I’m sure the Tumblr app is going to reblog this as a link rather than a text post, but read this. Go read the whole post. This is such a real fucking thing.

Attention rolequeers: First they ignore us. Then they laugh at us. Then they fight us. Then we win. »

thegreatgodum:

unquietpirate:

thegreatgodum:

unquietpirate:

rivai-lution:

Lmfao @ these vanilla ass bitches calling themselves fucking ~*~rolequeer~*~ are you fucking kidding me rn

If you’re not into BDSM then see yourself the fuck out of the community and stop making cute lil posts about your dumbshit opinions on tumblr and confusing everyone with…

Also, what Maymay said^. :-P

(The thought of some random BDSM kids suggesting that Maymay, of all people, “isn’t really kinky,” and that a submissive is “vanilla” if they don’t want to be raped, is so intense TBH.)

I don’t believe in vanilla people.

Inorite?

I think I might try to go as a “vanilla person” for Halloween.

How would you even do that? I bet any outfit you come up with, if you ask someone to guess what you are, they could come up with something kinky xD

I think that might depend on who I asked. ;-)

OH MY GOD IT DID. FUUUUUUUCK. FUCK ALL APPS FOREVER AND ETERNITY. I HATE THIS BULLSHIT.

I am going to fucking scream if the Tumblr app just ate that point…

In the realms of gender, sexual orientation, and relationship configuration, there has been a HUGE creative explosion of new language to better describe/express our diverse and evolving identities.

For the most part, this semantic expansion of identity space has been embraced and celebrated, especially among young people who viscerally understand how ill-suited binary frameworks are to describing our real lives.

So, now, I can identify as an AFAB gender-questioning agender soft-butch panromatic demi bisexual queer solopoly relationship anarchist. (I’m not being facetious. Those are all ways that I identify.)

These are only some of the dozens, maybe hundreds, of non-binary identity labels people use to describe themselves. And while we may giggle self I deprecatingly about how this leaves everybody with a Tumblr tagline half a mille long, it seems generally accepted that it’s a good thing for people to have lots of different words to talk about ourselves with, and to be able to make new words up if none if the current words quite fit.

And yet, if you suggest to BDSMers (who insist that “kinky” is a “sexual orientation”) that there might be kinky people who identify and experience an erotic relationship to power outside the traditional Dom/Sub/Switch paradigm, and that we might need new words to talk about that…they blow a gasket.

Why is that?

How I would have coached my younger Submissive self to talk to BDSM'ers

  • Submissive person: I'm really intrigued by the notion of having sex tied up in some way.
  • BDSM person: You should totes join us, then! We'll show you the ropes. We'll even teach you to like stuff you didn't know you liked!
  • Submissive person: That sounds…interesting…but…I'd rather just do this stuff I know I like, first.
  • BDSM person: Oh sure, sure, that's fine! That's great, even. After you're tied up, you should check out this thing with pain I'm totally into!
  • Submissive person: Uh…thanks, but no thanks.
  • BDSM person: Well, it's okay if you're not kinky, you know.
  • Submissive person: I am kinky.
  • BDSM person: You don't seem kinky to me; a real submissive would be happy to let a Dominant push their limits.
  • Submissive person: I told you, I'm really only interested in this one thing for now. I don't want to have my "limits pushed," I think this thing is hot and I want to play around with it together with someone I feel safe with.
  • BDSM person: Maybe you're just a sensation slut, then.
  • Submissive person: What?
  • BDSM person: Well, if you're really kinky, you may just think this is all you like now, but soon you'll find your limits and, we promise, you'll want to expand them. We can help with that. *wink wink*
  • Submissive person: You're making me really uncomfortable, please stop. Besides, my significant other isn't even Dominant.
  • BDSM person: Well there's your problem! You can't just go around having sex like that without any Dominants around! You're a submissive. You need a dominant. I mean, LOL, what would two submissives even do to each other?
  • Submissive person: But I *don't* want to have people "do things to me" right now, I just want to explore this thing I think I'll like. What does it matter if they're Dominant or not?
  • BDSM person: It matters because how will you ever expand your limits if you don't get into a relationship with a Dominant who can push them? You might as well just have "normal" sex.
  • Submissive person: What are you talking about? I want to explore this thing. You're right that I don't know for sure what I'll think of it but why do you assume this means I'm going to want to do MORE of that thing?
  • BDSM person: If you're really a submissive, you will. We know. You'll probably even start asking us for things you know that you *don't* like! We've seen it happen to submissives before. It's totally hot.
  • Submissive person: Well that's hella creepy.
  • BDSM person: Creepy? How dare you! We're CONSENSUAL. You obviously don't understand BDSM.
  • Submissive person: Actually, I think I do understand. You're not interested in helping me play around with this thing for my own sake, you're interested in making sure I'll have the sex you want to have with me later on.
  • BDSM person: That's crazy, we're all about consensuality here.
  • Submissive person: Then stop trying to make me feel like I'm not a "real" Submissive if I don't want to be raped.

My take on monogamy »

thegreatgodum:

lyricalagony:

[this won’t be put super well nor be the best analogy, but I want to have this somewhere, because whether other people lead to you changing your mind or not, it is good to know where you start with standing.]

It is perfectly valid when people are…

I really like this. :-)

The desire to have x-number of partners as a *compatibility* variable in a larger system that assumes non-coercion of loved ones — as opposed to a debate about the optimal number of partners for non-coercive relating.

This is why I don't have any friends* »

lyricalagony:

Aside from the people who subsequently became my significant others, I haven’t had a non-family close person relationship in which I also interacted with the person regularly independently (as in, not at an outside-scheduled activity) since third grade.

It occurred to me fairly recently that the…

Also reblogging this one (totally unrelated to rolequeerness) just because I found it interesting and I enjoy peoples’ analyses of their own brains, and because I thought some of the dynamics you described in here might be interesting to maymay (who also struggles with feeling like they don’t have or don’t know how to make non-romantic-relationship friends.) I think some of their dynamics are different from yours, but there were also things here that resonated w conversations we’ve had. (And might for other folks who follow me also.) Anyway, I hope it’s OK that I reblogged your personal self analysis post. Thanks for sharing this. :-)

waasteria asked: Do you know any blogs that are dedicated to rolequeer but are informative blogs? Also any blogs that are centered around the common problems in the BDSM community? I've always found this sorta stuff fascinating but rolequeer is like the holy grail for me and something that i wanted but had no idea how to look for (the mainstream bdsm stuff always seemed to much)

lyricalagony:

unquietpirate:

Hello!

notfuckingcishet:

I don’t know a specific themed blog but unquietpirate blogs about this a lot and might know more people. 

Also, I’d love to meet more people interested in rolequeerness. Mind if I follow you?

rolequeer is like the holy grail for me and something that i wanted but hadno idea how to look for

Reading things like this makes me really happy! :)

There are no blogs exclusively dedicated to rolequeerness as far as I’m aware, but you’re welcome to check out:

* my #rolequeer tag page
* maymay's #rolequeer tag page
* and my “kink” blog, Bandana Blog, which includes both my writing on rolequeerness and my critiques of the BDSM scene.

I’d also suggest checking out:

* lyricalagony's asexual kink blog: Sometimes Pain, And Very Rarely Unexamined
* Yingtai’s series Abject Submission: Is It Bad For Me?
* Communication or Lube

* Tumblr users maymay, lyricalagony, kinkykinkshamer, notfuckingcishet (of course), hemlockwolfbird, thebrightobvious, thegreatgodum, cool-yubari, @vdsdisc, @safeword (kinda), and @beyondthevalleyofthefemdoms aka @xcrosswords (who I don’t communicate with personally but who does say thoughtful things about this sometimes) are some folks who post about rolequeer topics or who generally understand the concept.

I don’t endorse everything said by everybody on every one of those blogs, of course. Some of them are too closely or uncritically aligned with the BDSM scene for me to feel personally comfortable engaging with them. But YMMV and this is generally where the conversation is currently happening.

Would any other followers (or people who don’t follow me) who I didn’t mention like to be on a resource list for folks looking for more info about rolequeerness?

Fair warning: Because “rolequeer” is a relatively new concept (or at least a new word), and because many of the people exploring it are sort of…fleeing the BDSM scene, much of what’s being posted about currently is relatively theoretical and political.

But I think some folks who do identify with rolequeerness, myself included, are starting to feel a little safer and more comfortable opening up and talking about our personal lives, and thoughts, and play in public. I have a couple of blog posts about this coming up, and there might even be a little bit of a rolequeer-ish porn blog in the works…maybe.

Meanwhile, if you are looking for porn, I recommend @eroticartrainbow. It’s not explicitly rolequeer, but they do a very good job of keeping their porn diverse and inclusive along a number of lines. :)

Wow - incredibly ! and the flattered/honored thing English really needs a word for to be mentioned (and eep as tends to happen with me, but still !). 

Also: are there any particular subtopics/questions in this area people might want to see me write about/see my thoughts on/etc? If so, very much tell me, I’d likely love to. (On the personal side, prompts are a really good way to facilitate thinking for me and obviously I’m not very likely to find rolequeer-etc writing prompts just out there). 

Signalboost. :-)

Attention rolequeers: First they ignore us. Then they laugh at us. Then they fight us. Then we win. »

thegreatgodum:

unquietpirate:

rivai-lution:

Lmfao @ these vanilla ass bitches calling themselves fucking ~*~rolequeer~*~ are you fucking kidding me rn

If you’re not into BDSM then see yourself the fuck out of the community and stop making cute lil posts about your dumbshit opinions on tumblr and confusing everyone with…

Also, what Maymay said^. :-P

(The thought of some random BDSM kids suggesting that Maymay, of all people, “isn’t really kinky,” and that a submissive is “vanilla” if they don’t want to be raped, is so intense TBH.)

I don’t believe in vanilla people.

Inorite?

I think I might try to go as a “vanilla person” for Halloween.